We didn't have the traditional marriage--I didn't take my husband's name, didn't have a big blowout wedding--or even a small family gathering. We got married in a campground without any family present. We sort of eloped. Now I don't want the traditional divorce either.We're both trying very hard not to drag our kids through a bitter firestorm, and I think we're doing a dang fine job.
I keep looking for positives amidst the pain. Here's one golden nugget that a friend gave me. She said that her Taikwando instructor defines a successful marriage like this: A marriage is successful, regardless of duration, if each person has been enriched by the marriage. I can say without a doubt, that living with J for 25 years enriched my life in myriad ways. Here are a few:
- We raised beautiful children together.
- I went places I never would have gone on my own.
- I learned a little about sailing.
- I learned to love seafood.
- I gained confidence and finished my degree.
- I learned to think of myself as a professional.
- I learned to take care of the car.
- I got in the habit of flossing.
- I learned to run.
I feel confident that living with me enriched his life, too--but that's a list for his own blog.
